10 Tough Things

This was a much harder list. I tend to be an optimist and focus on the positive most of the time, or at least TRY to. Coming up with a list of ten tough things was hard. Here it is anyway. I hope if you're a civilian you read this and realize that what not to say or do! :)

10 Tough Things About Being a Military Wife:

1. TDY=Temporary DutY=time away from us. The week-long TDY's are not any big deal anymore (which is ok for us, but now I have zero sympathy for my friends who have the same thing in the civilian world, and having zero sympathy isn't good--sorry friends, it's true! I've toughened up). The month-long TDYs are harder, but after the second thing on my list, they're still quite do-able.
   
   
2. Deployments=when he's called to long, extended months away from us, in a foreign and dangerous land. I know I'm so blessed that we've only had one, and the next one is not slated until probably the end of 2011/first of 2012 (that's what happens when your military husband has a school assignment). The first one in 2007 was very difficult, but we made it. I know I can do it again.
   
   
3. Weird remarks from people. You know the ones, where people in town call people from the base "basers" and it's not a compliment. Catty comments from some women about how tough it must be and how they don't know how you do it. People who don't want to get to know you because they think you're leaving soon (even if you're not).
   
   
4. OPSEC. Not that I mind keeping things private, or to myself. I don't mind at all. But it irritates the crud out of me to see carelessness on Facebook, on blogs, and on Twitter. C'mon, folks, we're in a war, and it's not a friendly one. See #5.
   
   
5. War. Yes, we're in a war. In a war, there's an enemy. Our enemy wishes harm on us. They use our own words and actions against us to try to win. It is not friendly, nor fair, nor right. But it's reality. Be careful. The figurative walls have ears, and loose lips sink ships. Still true.
   
   
6. The occasional sense of isolation. I know yesterday I praised the military spouse community, and I'm glad to have it now. But back when my husband joined the USAF active duty, it wasn't nearly as prevalent. There were a few posts at AF Crossroads, and SpouseBuzz was there but fairly new. But nothing for Christian military wives to support each other. Wives of Faith came my way in 2008 (or thereabouts; Sara and I connected in 2007). So there are times I have felt isolated, and I hope never to be there again.
   
   
7. Moving. Yes, it's a fabulous opportunity to go to new places, as I mentioned yesterday. But moving over and over again? It gets harder each time I stretch roots into the ground. And no one can ever put our address in their book in anything other than pencil. And we have to find new dentists, and orthodontists, and schools, and stores, and dance studios, and friends . . .
   
   
8. Friends moving away. In the past two years I've "lost" friends to PCS moves all around the globe. Feels like I'm always saying goodbye. Sometimes it's manageable, but when you're at a base that's BRAC-ing, I'm sure it is more frequent than the norm.
   
   
9. Learning a whole new language. It's getting easier, but just as soon as I learn a set of acronyms, the Air Force changes them around! It's hard to learn military-wife-ese, speak it fluently, and have a decent understanding. Fortunately for me, I have had many friendly and open women in my life to explain things to me (because the women my age have been doing this ten years or more longer--ah, the joys of being a chaplain's wife! If you don't already know, chaplains are older than their fellow officer/rank counterparts for several reasons, the first of which is they have to have their master's degree before they even commission, and the second of which is that they remain Captains for years longer than other job areas).
   
   
10. To round out my list, one of the hardest things I had to come to terms with was accepting that our family's mission would change from the church to the military. As I described the other day, I had quite a struggle over this. It might not have been my dream for my family, but it is God's plan for us. And in that I take comfort.

Head on over here to read what all the other military ladies are saying.