Friday, May 04, 2012


Join the "community" at The Gypsy Mama here. {Really you should...some of these amazing folks write eloquently and beautifully in those five minutes--more than just this 5-minute freewrite here...}



Being real is hard work.

Having chosen a life in ministry by marrying my minister husband right out of college, I have struggled with being real my entire adult life. It's tough. Where do I draw the line with complete and total honesty, manners begone, or polite mannerly lying and sweetness and light?

I don't want to be that woman, the one no one wants to talk to because simply asking "how are you" garners you a litany of woes.

I don't want to be the fake "perfect pastor's wife Pattie" anymore, either (thankfully, my husband's ministry has changed, and the chapel is kinder to its chaplain's wives than some small churches have been with their single-staff-pastor's wives).

So what is the answer? The real answer?

I'm still learning. Trying to be real in the meantime, honest about my struggles without being too detailed, learning to listen, gauging the atmosphere and the situation, and mostly just doing the best that I can.



Sara H said...

I can imagine it would be even more difficult as a pastor's wife.

I see you're a dance mom too. :)

Katie Kump said...

I can certainly relate in many ways! I'm also a military wife and find myself eager to spill my guts to anyone who will listen as I try to cope with our first deployment. It's tough! I'm finding the best thing I can do is to be 100% intentional and real with Jesus so that no one else is drowning in the weight of my emotions. Also praying for discretion to know how much to share with people; my tendency so far is to overcompensate on others because my husband isn't here. It's a constant struggle to be real and to be hopeful in looking forward, how to struggle well, I guess. Be encouraged! You're not alone!

Stacey said...

I think it was through the inRL nonconference, but they said that "fine" always cut off the conversation, where as "this day was a little upside down" (or something similar and general) opens a door. Then it's up to the other person to either walk through or close it. That's what I am going to TRY to do anyway in an attempt to be more "real."

I can only guess at how you and other pastor's wives must feel when I fight with this and I'm anonymous!

proverbs31heart said...

Your post really ministered to me, Pattie. Thank you! <3

Quotes,Photos and a little Poetry said...

Wow, your life has to be full of blessings. so. here's some more. Blessings to yall