Thursday, July 11, 2013
Just keep swimmin'
Kristen, a fellow Air Force spouse and writer friend, asks this question today on her blog. And I read it, and it resonated with me.
Why do I even try? Why do I even bother to write?
If you look at my blog, you'll see that I really haven't bothered. I haven't carved words from my heart onto the blank page lately. It's been a long time since I felt passionate about writing anything about myself. In fact, the last time I wrote from any sort of passion was at Wives of Faith, and it was about our flag and our response to those who misuse it.
I get wrapped up in the smallness of my life and my blog. This tiny little corner of the internet where I've been writing for years. I get in my head and not on the page, and that is not healthy for me. Even my journal, which by this point in the year should be more than half full, sits virtually empty in the middle.
I also get bogged down in the knowledge that I don't have any one area of expertise. I've dabbled in things my whole life, but I'm not an expert in any one thing. In a world where platform is preached and experts are sought out, I don't really stand out. I'm not the best writer out there, or the best teacher, or editor. I'm not the best and most involved Air Force wife, or ministry wife. I haven't written a book.
I don't have any answers, and I don't have much more to add, except to say this: I will fight for your right to express yourself, and I'll teach you how to do it better if you ask. But maybe I need to be content with my own little corner, writing for God and not for my own fame or glory. I need to, in the immortal words of Dory the fish, "just keep swimmin.'"
And maybe--just maybe--God will grow it into an oak tree.