Milspouse Matters by Jen McDonald

When I first signed up to review this book, I figured it would be a good book to review, but I didn’t think much more than that. I have, after all, been a milspouse for over two decades, and I was familiar with the author from her blog back when blogs were new and shiny and popular. I figured it would be a nice little review of military spouse life, probably with some advice thrown in for good measure.

Fast forward to today’s panic moment when I got a message requesting the link to my review. I looked at my planner, where I had written “post review” on my to-do list. I turned my head and saw the two humongous black suitcases on the floor with the OCP-patterned extra-large backpack with its travel neck pillow hanging off the side. Oops, I thought. I forgot to finish and post it. My bad.

Basically, I had written part of my book review, and I was about halfway through the book—and I got distracted by the deployment timeline moving forward. Those suitcases and bags in the living room were absolutely a distraction, and not the welcome kind. Welcome to military spouse life, where plans change often enough to make your head spin and your eyes well up with tears sometimes. Nevertheless, I’m giving you the true story of why this is late, as well as an honest account of the book (and yes, I still need to finish, but I did skim through the rest so I can speak with truth!). My favorite line by far is “The certainty of uncertainty” (42). Change is inevitable, and plans have to be fluid.

Jen McDonald’s book Milspouse Matters is a lovely collection of stories—stories of love, of adventure, difficult times, friendships, and retirement. Some of the stories sound so familiar because they ARE familiar. The names of the locations and wars might change, but the feelings of the spouses at home are the same. The universality of these stories among the military community is evident on each page.

When McDonald’s book begins with the often-heard and seldom-liked statement “You knew what you signed up for,” I will be honest: I bristled. My story is like many: I married a man who was in one job, and he decided to transition to military life later on. Many others knew they were marrying into the service, and even they could not possibly have known what it’s like being married to a military member. It’s different for everyone, and yet as I stated before, there is a sense of community and universality of story.

This book is much different than I expected it to be, and I am so grateful. I will be recommending it to everyone I know who is married to a military servicemember: active duty, reserve, Guard, or even retired. It’s important for us to listen to (or read) each other’s stories, support each other, and of course, love each other.

Jen McDonald, thank you for sharing this book with all of us. Thank you for including me on your launch team. Thanks for understanding why this is late. And thank you to your husband and to you for your service. PS: We loved our time in Grand Forks—it was our first active duty station!