Listen

I blogged about my new 2012 theme on Wives of Faith this morning (a post that took me awhile to write, because I'm not home and I'm still on my operation vacation).

My theme for 2012 is Listen.

Now, I have not gone into detail much online, other than a whittled-down list of folks on my Facebook page who are my prayer warriors, close friends and family members. But I had major ear surgery last week at Fort Lewis, Washington. I had a growth that distorted my eardrum, destroyed much of my temporal bone all the way up to my brain, began to expose my facial nerve, damaged a taste nerve, and destroyed two of the three bones needed for hearing. I now have a new reconstructed eardrum, no disease, and my facial nerve, perilously close to being exposed and damaged, is getting some steroids for strength and protection. I still have hearing in my ear--it's all sensorineural, as those parts are still in working order. My hearing loss will be able to be fixed next year (should the disease not return) with the insertion of a titanium implant replacing the two destroyed hearing bones, connecting my new eardrum to the stapes bone.

I am alive, I have no facial nerve damage (seems I'm past the window of danger for that as well, although the steroid med course continues for another week), I have no brain damage, and no terrible side effects from the medications or the procedure.

God is so good.

On Christmas Sunday, four days after my surgery, we sat in the lovely sanctuary of Chapel One at McChord Field, listening and enjoying the worship service. My heart was full. I was not seeking my theme, I was just trying to enjoy the fact that I could hear the music and the Scripture being read (the same passage which, incidentally, I had posted to my Facebook status not an hour before).

And I heard that familiar, comforting, Still Small Voice say, "Listen. Be still and know that I am God."

"Lord. Really?"

"Yes. Listen."

I had to laugh a little inside. Really? Listen. With what I thought at the time was half my hearing, He wants me to listen? It's going to be HARD. I've been a very healthy girl most of my life. Sure, ear trouble as a kid, and intermittent hearing issues the past year, but not a full-fledged disability. A handicap, really. A medical condition requiring monitoring and being careful.

This year, listening will have to be a conscious effort. It will be work. It is going to make home life harder and work life a lot harder (how in the world am I going to do a VTC class starting in Feb. if I can't hear that well?).

But I'm here. I'm alive. I'm 9 days out from surgery and managing my pain and discomfort pretty well. It will only get better from here.


Past Themes: Brave, 2009
Focus, 2010
Grace, 2011