Wednesday, October 15, 2014

October 15th: A Grief Out of Season

In 2002, my parents split up after 35 years of marriage. Their divorce was final the following spring. Their separation came out of nowhere; we were floored and sad, shocked, grieving, confused, and in a great deal of pain. So devastating.

I had joined a club I never wanted to join, but whose membership grows every single day: ACOD, Adult Children of Divorce. Because I am a resource person, I looked for resources. Back in 2002, there was exactly one book available: A Grief Out of Season. (Thankfully now there are several others.)

I was able to borrow this out-of-print book through inter-library loan from the library in the town where I was teaching, a half-hour's drive away from our home. Later on, I found a used copy online.
The first thing this book did for me was let me know I was not alone, my feelings (and my sister's) were completely normal and understandable and most of all, valid.

You can see that the book has many sticky notes on the side--I did at one time write an article, relying on the expert advice within this book to support my own experience. Sadly, that article was rejected more than once, so it is not in print. And that's probably okay. Time and distance and more time and God all conspire to heal wounds of the soul. A dozen years later, I am amazed it's been so long ago that this defining life moment no longer defines me. I have healed, and while things aren't perfect, they're most certainly better.

This book on my shelf reminds me how far I've come, and that I'm doing just fine.

To read more of this #31DaysofBooks series, visit the introduction post.

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