Dream.
OK, so this is a tough one for me. Because I'm not a dreamer.
Oh sure, when I was a teen, I dreamed of being a backup singer for Kathy Troccoli (I wanted her inimitable sense of style--plus her songs weren't too high), and I dreamed of writing a series of books like Little House on the Prairie or Anne of Green Gables.
Then I learned to make my dreams much, much smaller. Teacher, wife, mom of 2 girls.
Done, done, and done.
Not easily, and not always easily and with a bit of heartache, but . . . accomplished.
What's a reformed dreamer to do when her husband's next career takes her away from some of those accomplished dreams?
Well, she pouts, apparently. And she lets writing rejections and discouraging people get her down. She closes her eyes and heart to the people who are not discouraging, and she stops dreaming.
She heals. And the part of her she thought was dead is alive again, teaching again, healing.
But she's still afraid of rejection--the rejection of "We're sorry" or worse, nothing at all, to the words carved on the screen from her heart.
Enter 2013, themeless and "one word"-less.
Last summer, I went to a jewelry party, and I bought these bracelets for my girls. Somehow, though, I decided I needed one too, so I ordered three. The girls loved their little bracelets with the purple cords, lightweight and pretty.
Then I found mine, hidden in a drawer. And I knew. And I denied it.
But I knew.
I was afraid. Still am. Even now as I write this, knowing I need to share it for the handful of people who read this little blog in the corner of the blogosphere.
I had debated between "dream" and "prayer," because I will be writing a series of very basic, simple, hopefully inspired Bible studies at Wives of Faith on prayer this year. It sounds more lofty and holy to say "My word for 2013 is prayer."
And yet, here I am, with my tiny bracelet and my heart full of words to share, feeling fearful and afraid to dream.
As I read through the Bible this year, I have already started making notes, not only about prayer, but also about dreams. And I am following a writer I'd love to meet one day, as she inspires women to dream.
And I know I have people in my corner.
One of my other friends mentioned yesterday that sometimes words are friends, that they hold hands. I think she's right. Dreams and prayer are friends.
Special thanks to Melanie at Only a Breath for the custom "One Word" graphic. Thank you!!!
Past themes:
Brave (2009)
Focus (2010)
Grace (2011)
Listen (2012)
7 comments:
Beautiful!! Dream! That's one of my favorite words, because it's just the start of the Yellow Brick road. You must dare to dream before you ever even get a glimpse the Emerald City :D
I'm watching you, and I'll be cheering you on, with hope and pompoms and words in both hands :D
I wish I could figure out my theme for this year! Less drama would be nice, then maybe I could focus & figure it out. I do need focus...maybe my word should be "No". I get myself involved in so many things--mom, grandma, fiancee', daughter, granddaughter, friend, ex-wife who still has issues, coworker--where am I in all of this? No need to fear, friend Pattie! In all the chaos of this world, WE ARE LOVED!!
I love this theme for you. I'm praying dreams you never knew you had surface and find homes in your heart.
I love your word!! :) I have a blog post coming tomorrow that touches on dreams, too. May yours find you!! :)
Cheering you on as you embrace more of what God has for you this year!
Oh Pattie, I know how you struggle with idea, permission to dream, to be yourself. It feels like you are abandoning some important duty. You struggle with it. But I know you will do well with it.
I am so excited to be finding others who use a word or theme for the year. Yay! :-) So happy, and so happy for you and your year... Dream! Dream! Dream!
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