Five Minute Friday on Saturday: Belong

To link with this weekend's link, visit Crystal: here.

BELONG:

Merriam-Webster defines belong in many ways, but the second part of the second definition says this:

 to be attached or bound by birth, allegiance, or dependency

This definition drew me in.

There are days I float along, feeling alone, feeling apart, feeling far away. Living in Alaska will do that to a person, when her loved ones are thousands of miles and thousands of dollars away.

But I belong to Jesus. I belong to my husband. I belong to my girls, even though day by day they become more independent of me. I belong to the chapel congregation, I belong to the women's ministry, and I belong to a unique ministry online. 

Even if I feel apart, left out, or ignored, I really do belong.

Sometimes it is good to remember that. Especially on the days when I feel otherwise.

Five Minute Friday: JOY

Today's topic for Five Minute Friday: JOY. You can read others' posts at Lisa-Jo's linkup here.

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There are few things that bring me more joy as a mom more than watching my girls do what they love.

I put my oldest daughter in a dance class in our small town when she was three years old. Just a few weeks from her 4th birthday, she was so proud to have her little black leotard and her blue wrap skirt and her tiny, tiny little pink leather ballet shoes. She took to dance like the proverbial duck to water, and her teacher said she was a natural. Usually a serious little girl, she wore a look of concentration and adhered to each position as carefully as any serious ballerina.

Just a few years later, her little sister also proudly wore her own tiny little pink leather shoes and shiny black tap shoes, dancing into everyone's hearts with her dimpled smile.

Every place we've moved since we lived in that small town, we've been mindful of finding a good dance studio, not competition-based (although of course we've done *some* competition in intervening years), with nurturing teachers and a cheerful yet studious atmosphere. Schools attached to nonprofit companies have been our best educational opportunities.

Today, my serious little girl has a smile as wide as the ocean and makes her debut onstage in a community theatre production of "Pippin." She dreams of landing on the Great White Way. Her sister with the dimples now tap-dances in sock feet every day in the kitchen, and wants to study and tap dance professionally someday.

My heart is bursting at their joy, which has become my own.

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Thank you for stopping by! Wishing you a wonderful weekend.

Five Minute Friday: WRITE

5 minute freewrite on the topic of the week

Today's word: WRITE

On my new year's resolution mug I painted with glaze the following quotation by E. B. White: "Writing is an act of faith..."

To be honest, I haven't done a whole lot of writing the past few weeks. I've done more reading than writing, and copying others' words in my composition book instead of composing my own words, carving them from my mind, my heart, my soul.

The word I received for 2014 is "creative," and pursuing other avenues of creativity has gotten me into the pottery-painting store, trying to sketch with colored pencils, knitting scarves in chunky yarns on different sized needles, and reading books I would not normally choose.

But since I teach others how to write, and encourage others who write, and edit and publish for others, I should write more myself. 

I just haven't been writing.

I saw this quotation online by Lisa-Jo Baker, and it struck a chord with me: 

"Scared is the new brave. Write anyway."

So here I write, on this blank blog screen, putting letters and words and phrases into some kind of coherency, not really writing for anyone else but myself. 

I wish it were easier. More fluid. Not as painstaking.

If the easy things in life aren't as meaningful, then writing for me is the most meaningful work there is.

Write on.

Five Minute Friday: LAST

http://lisajobaker.com/2013/08/five-minute-friday-last/

Welcome to the Five Minute Friday Freewriting Flash Mob! Lisa-Jo has hosted this for several years, and I've been participating for oh, about a year on and off, I guess.

It's still Thursday night here in Alaska, but the time zones in the contiguous United States are rolling their days over to Friday--so while I have time and my students are writing their first essays for me in class, I will write as well, on the word LAST.

Ready..set...go

I often think about the last this or the last that...when was the last time I got my hair cut? This is my youngest daughter's last first day of middle school. That kind of thing.

What I don't often think about is what is going to last a long time.

When I got my hearing bone implant - a teeny-tiny 4mm titanium rod to connect my reconstructed eardrum with my still-miraculously-intact stapes bone - I thought it would last forever. Or at least a few years.

Sadly, the hearing improvement only lasted about three months.

The last ear surgery I had was November 2012, just before my birthday.

Sadly, I am looking at having another one, and I'm not sure when.

Will the results last longer than a year? a few months?

Will my hearing last until I'm old?

I just don't know.

What I am sure of, however, is that my faith MUST last. And not by my own strength, but by His.

And that cannot be contingent upon my surgery's results lasting longer than a few months, or a year, or even two.

END

Five Minute Friday: Jump

Today's prompt: JUMP


Jumping tandem into a life that I didn't think I wanted, but didn't want to let him do alone.
It's the only way I want to jump: tandem.

Not alone.

Jumping alone is scary. Hard. Freak-out fearful.

I am afraid to step out on faith, much less jump.

I'm so glad I do not have to do this life alone. I have a husband, girls, and an extended family divided by distance and divorce, but still - family.

And friends. More than I think I might have.

I want to jump, even though I'm afraid.

I want to be like those whom Jesus healed, who were lame, and then jumped up to walk again.

Let me jump up in joy. Because I can. Because I am not alone.

Want to jump tandem with me?

5 Minute Friday

Five minute freewrite on a Friday...join in! Click on the link below the graphic and read others' writings. Five minutes, timer set, let's go!

The word for today is . . . AGAIN

I'm not sure what to write about the word "again." It implies repetition, having been here before, feeling or acting the same. Not necessarily stuck, but perhaps not breaking out either.

I would like to try to turn it around, and say: "When adversity strikes, as I know it will, I will act in faith again," rather than, "Oh wow, I messed up again."

Those of us who have lived a life of faith for years sometimes get stuck. Like any relationship involving the human condition, we get tired, we are selfish, we get in a rut. So it's not the Lord's fault if things feel stale. He has not changed; we have. The onus is on ME to change, to break out, to seek His face anew each morning and afternoon and evening and when I feel tired or sore or bored or overwhelmed again.

My prayer this morning: Lord, help me to remember all the times you were faithful to me, to my family, again and again. Help me remember to act again with faith, rather than allowing my emotional state to sway me into doubt or doldrums. Amen.

5 Minute Friday: Dive

Five minute freewrite on a Friday...join in! Click on the link below the graphic and read others' writings. Five minutes, timer set, let's go!

The word for today is . . . DIVE

.....so sink or swim....I'm divin' in......{whoa, oh, oh oh oh oh ohhhhh!}

Anyone who's ever heard Steven Curtis Chapman's song "Dive" will recognize that line. As soon as I saw the topic, in fact, that song started playing in my head, like a jukebox I can't turn off. 

Don't get me wrong, after nearly a year of moderate {major to me!} hearing loss, music is finally easier for me as my brain adjusts to renewed hearing and my body rebalances itself, hinging on a 4 milimeter piece of titanium in my ear.

But diving? Well, I can't.

I will learn more as I go, but for now, swimming is out for me. So would diving be, and any other water sports. Today, "diving" will be figurative, rather than literal diving in water.

I have been immersing myself in many things since the new year began: reading about ten books at once, studying about prayer for a Bible study I'm writing online (www.wivesoffaith.org), even reading the Bible through in one year with my ESV One-Year Bible.

Through these new habits and books and ideas, I'm immersing myself in what I believe God has called me to in this season of my life. I'm not sure exactly how to articulate it other than how I have, yet. It's like a cauldron in my brain, steaming and bubbling with all sorts of things.

I can only trust the One who holds the spoon, sloughing off the dross that surfaces, adding what He must to make it what He wants it to be.

{END}

Wow, that was interesting. Sometimes you just don't know how something will turn out till you write it  :)

First Five Minute Friday of 2013

Today's Topic: OPPORTUNITY

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"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." ~Winston Churchill

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Quotations like these are difficult for me to contemplate. You see, while I try very hard to be optimistic, there's a part of my nature, my very human nature, that is pessimistic.

When I am faced with an opportunity, sometimes all I see is all the work involved. How much will be required of me in terms of time and energy and thought. "Is it worth it?" I ask myself. Generally the answer is no.

Sometimes, I allow opportunities to slip away because I'm not an optimist. I don't see the opportunity in the difficulty of the work, energy, time, and thought involved.

The true tragedy is that I don't allow the opportunity for GOD to shine through me in the difficult situation.

I hope I can remember to think in a more positive manner and allow God to shine through, even when things are difficult and I'm not feeling particularly optimistic about the opportunity--or difficulty--before me.

5 Minute Friday: WONDER

http://lisajobaker.com/2012/11/five-minute-friday-wonder-2/

WONDER

Each year at our house, we move further away from the childlike wonder of Christmas. Not for lack of trying...oh no. It's because the children are growing up.

This will be our first Christmas with two teenagers in the house. Our youngest turns 13 tomorrow (technically just past noon Central time, so about the time we'll be leaving for dance class here in Alaska). My baby is a teenager, with all that this milestone accompanies. My older baby is driving herself to school and to Walmart for "something I need, Mom."

I wonder, Where did the years go? Where are my tiny girls? Where are the matching outfits? The little tights and red velvet dresses? The ringlet curls and the innocent smiles?

I love my girls so much. I loved them as babies, as toddlers, as lisping preschoolers, as school-agers, and now, yes, I adore them as teens. They are so much more beautiful and comfortable in their own skin than I ever dreamed of being at their ages.

I hope and pray, as I gaze upon them with the wonder of motherhood, that they will be able to take that confidence, that inner strength that comes from God and a loving home, and use it to glorify Him.

Roots and Wings

5 Minute Friday on . . . ROOTS

I don't know who said this, but someone once said that the two greatest things we can give our children are roots and wings.

Unlike my two best friends, my family does not have deep roots like other families do. As a military family, we've moved around every few years, and we don't have one particular place we call home (well, we each do, but it's different for each!).

One of my best friends lives across the yard from her grandparents' house where she lived for much of her life. Her neighbors' parents knew her grandparents. Her kids' friends' parents are her friends. She knows the town and its people, and her roots run as deep as the huge tree out back with the tire swing.

Another of my best friends is single, but she has roots that run deep and long in her church. Her parents were charter members (I think) and helped run the church, Sunday school and treasury, for over thirty years. Only for health reasons have they stepped away from those responsibilities. She knows the people, the children, the pastor and his family.

So I may not be able to offer my girls roots of a physical or tactile nature, but they have roots that run deep in my heart. And yes, I can sure give them wings. Wings to fly, to try their best, to be adventurous, to think, to do all the things we dream for our kids.

Roots and wings.

Welcome

WELCOME

To visit this week's post link-up and the rules, click here.


ready...set...go!

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Welcome!

I'm so glad you're here!

This blog, Fresh-Brewed Writer, began as my writing and book blog. I had a general topic, personal blog over at Xanga back in 2003 when I started writing "in public" for the internet. It was a scary thing, writing in the open. I started gradually moving things over here, sometimes deleting, so the only reason I know I've been over here as long as I have is because Blogger tells me I joined in 2005!

Over time, this has been the book review blog. I joined too many organizations with too many books to review, and while I do enjoy reading books as they come out, I may be scaling that part of my life back soon.

I am a writer. {deep breath}

It took me a long, long time to admit that to everyone around me. I remember once feeling brave enough to admit it during a pastoral interview (yes, the wife was interviewed too--this church in particular saw us as a 2-for-1 deal; we didn't go there), and they wanted to know how I used the gift within the church. They were ready for me to start and run a card ministry, and that was overwhelming to me, with two young girls and knowing I'd have to teach full-time to make ends meet on what they were offering in the pastor's salary package.

I didn't feel welcomed there.

I try very hard to find women in a group who look alone. Sometimes it takes all I have to go over and say hi and welcome her. Other times, I'm the smiling face at the door, welcoming everyone.

Let's pretend you're coming over. WELCOME. I'm glad you're here! Stick around, if you like. This is a small blog with few followers, but I love it here.

5 Minute Friday: Grasp

GRASP

ready...set...go!

How can I grasp onto time? How can I grasp the moments as they pass, to prolong those happy, wonderful, fleeting moments?

I cannot.

That's the truth of it.

There are precious few things we can grasp. Tiny hands grow into bigger hands, and soon those hands are holding a steering wheel, or a cell phone, or even someday, a boy's hand.

All we can do is appreciate each moment, enjoy it while we have it, and perhaps, if we're able, write it down for future memory.

Heavenly Father, help me to grasp the gravity of the moments I have with my girls while they're still in my care. In my home. Help me to grasp their hands and help turn their hearts towards Yours. I love you, and I thank you for the privilege of raising Your daughters in a home that loves and serves You. Make me equal to the task. Help me to overlook my own shortcomings and focus on You. Help me to grasp Your love for me, so that I can communicate that same Love to them. Amen.

How Wide

WIDE

WIDE--at Lisa Jo formerly Gypsy Mama

Ephesians 3: 17b-19

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.


How wide is His love? Wide and long and high and deep.

How often do I think about this? Not often enough, apparently. Every time I read this verse, I'm bewildered and baffled. I look in the mirror and think, "How can anyone love this face? This body? This bruised and battered and selfish heart of mine?"

But He does. Oh, He does. And I will be forever grateful.

He loves me so much. Jesus died on the cross for me--and you--and my children--and my friends. Everyone. He loves us all this much.

I am a do-er, so I tend to focus on doing enough and getting things done, in order to be worthy of this wide and long and high and deep love of my Savior. What I'm re-learning is that there's never enough to be done. I will never catch up on the housework, or the schoolwork (grading never seems to end!), or the heart work. I strive and strive, and it's never enough to please myself or others.

When will I learn to rest in the wide, wide love of God? Hopefully soon. Because I'm one tired mama!


I wanted to concentrate on God's love for this devotional thought in five minutes, because otherwise I could make jokes about how wide my behind and my waist have gotten, or how truly wide the state of Alaska is. But really, let's not go there.

Join me on a 5 Minute Friday

JOIN

JOIN--at Lisa Jo formerly Gypsy Mama

"Join the club."

How many times do we use that phrase?

"I'm tired."
"Join the club."

"I don't have money to go out today."
"Join the club."

"I don't see how we can fit one more thing into our schedule."
"Join the club."

You see what I mean? We're so quick to try to identify with people's problems or issues, we are like, "Yeah, join the club...I'm there too, let's be together."

The problem is, it seems so negative. It's not an understanding of "I understand your feelings" or even a sympathetic "I've been there and survived, and so will you."  No, it's a cynical little "suck it up" kind of response.

"Join the club."

I've had enough of "suck it up" kind of responses from people. I get that a lot in the military world (interestingly, more online than in person). We need less of that and more of a sense of belonging and community, a sense of "let's live this life together, and let's pray for each other."

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Wow, I don't know why I went this direction with the word "join." Guess that's what is on my heart. I'm sure it's not as nice and welcoming a post as others (I never read others' 5 Minute Friday posts till I'm done---it's the teacher in me that won't let me do anything that's remotely like cheating!), but for whatever reason it's what flowed out of my hands today.

It's even a good day! Will you JOIN me in rejoicing that we have another day on this earth to hug our families and friends? To make a difference for Jesus?

/end of 5 minutes/

Enough

ENOUGH

ENOUGH--at Lisa Jo formerly Gypsy Mama

ENOUGH

The first thing that came to mind was the praise song:

All of You is more than enough for 
All of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with your Love
And all I have in You
Is more than enough...


Talking about God being more than enough to meet our need, satisfy the longings of our hearts.

I often feel like I don't do enough, am not woman enough or strong enough, to DO this thing called life. To live my life, to be who I am--military ministry wife, mother, teacher, friend, ministry team leader for more than one team. Writer, editor, maybe even a speaker someday.

I don't measure up to whatever ideal is in my head. And that's enough to drive me crazy.

When will I be enough?

I won't. I can't.

Not alone.

But with God, I am. He made me to be enough, but only if I allow Him access to my heart and life and the vessel I am in Him.

What an amazing thought. Revolutionary.

Now, to let it be enough to satisfy that longing in my heart to do more, be more, strive for more.

Dance dance dance

DANCE

Dance--at Lisa Jo formerly Gypsy Mama

My girls have both been taking dance classes since they were three years old. That means I've been a dance mom for twelve years.

Twelve years of tights, bobby pins, pink ballet shoes and black and tan tap shoes, jazz moves and handstands and cartwheels, pointe shoes and "look what I learned in class today, Mom!" Storybook ballets like Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella, Nutcracker performances with professionals, competitions, and recitals every spring.

We've been in seven dance studios in four states, with probably twenty teachers between both girls.

I'm still amazed that the girls can be so talented, when I have lived such an uncoordinated life. Not just physically, although I know now that I can blame my ear condition for a lot of my balance issues. But I know that I've lived my life believing that I could not achieve coordination through dancing. It's tough to let go of all that, and I didn't want my daughters to deal with all that baggage.

So they dance, and my heart dances to watch them dance. And I believe it makes God smile to see it all.

5 Minute Friday: Sunday Edition

Path

Path

When I saw the topic for this week's Five Minute Friday, all I could think about was Robert Frost.

You know the one. The poet. "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood." That guy.

But instead of waxing philosophical, I'll write about an actual path. Snowy. Blocked by a moose.

This year our spring break was in March. But March in Alaska is not very springy. In fact, it was still quite chilly, very snowy, and dark-ish in the mornings and evenings.

On the last day of that week, I announced to my family that we were NOT going to stay home and be bored. We were going to go do something new.

We drove about thirteen miles down a road, where it ended at the nature center. We paid our parking fee, looked around the inside room at the displays, then headed outside to look at the great outdoors.

It was really awesome. We saw the glacier in the distance, the remaining piles of snow from our record-breaking snowfall that winter, birds galore, and lovely scenery.

Taking one of the paths, the girls who had run ahead reversed their direction and came back to us. "There's a moose in the way. We can't go that way." We'd already been warned about these giant unwieldy wild animals. So of course I turned on the zoom lens of my camera and walked a bit toward the moose who lay in the path, chewing on branches. (I figured she'd have to stand up before chasing me, so I had a few moments' head start if she got up.)

I took several photos of her. It was awesome.

We went back to the car the other way.

Identity

Join the "community" at The Gypsy Mama here. {Really you should...some of these amazing folks write eloquently and beautifully in those five minutes--more than just this 5-minute freewrite here...}

Identity.

Today, my identity is in my husband's job. It's military spouse appreciation day, and so on this Friday before Mother's Day, I find myself in the camp of milspouses everywhere. Women--and men--married to the military. We join forces and band together as family in the locations where we may not have chosen to raise our children, but here we are anyway.

Forever, my identity is that I'm a mom. That's a HUGE part of who I am. But it's not all I am.

Sometimes my identity has been in my job. My desk right now has stacks of final exams and a fine-line red pen with which to mark them. (And a Coke. Also red.) I can get so wrapped up in my students' work that I somehow lose my own writing voice as I hammer home the rules of the comma splice and the semicolon, giving credit where credit is due, and all those numbers that total up into a grade.

I remember one time telling a pastor search committee interviewing me alongside my husband, asking what I did. I said I was a teacher and a writer. One woman said, "Oh, good, you can take over the greeting card ministry." One of many clues that the church was not a good fit for me.

The hardest part is figuring out my identity in Christ. Chosen. Loved beyond all reason. Purposed. Knit together. Daughter of a King. I'll never understand why I was chosen and why He loves me so, but I'm ever, ever grateful.

**and that's the end of my 5 minutes!**

The call is to community...

Join the "community" at The Gypsy Mama here. {Really you should...some of these amazing folks write eloquently and beautifully in those five minutes--more than just this 5-minute freewrite here...}

Community

There's an old song written by Michael Card, and the chorus goes like this:

And the call is to community
The impoverished power that sets the soul free
In humility to take the vow
That day after day we must take up the basin and the towel...


I've always loved his music, and this song is so sweet in its call to service. Serving others as Jesus served His disciples. Selflessly. Thinking of others ahead of ourselves.

It's not an easy life, this kind of community.

I'm grafting into my third community in three years. That's what we military wives do: graft into new communities at new duty stations. Meet new friends. Serve others. Help whenever we can, and sometimes even when we, in ourselves, cannot.

At the same time, I remain in an online community I've been a part of for the past eight years. The message board is gone, but the friendships remain through email and Facebook.

Some bonds will never be broken, and for that I'm forever grateful. Because eventually, we'll all be together as one big worldwide community in heaven.

5 minutes on good-bye

Good-Bye

And.....go!

Good-bye. Such a hard thing to say. I've mentioned it here on my blog before, but saying good-bye is tough. I've been on both sides of good-bye and neither one is fun. It's not fun to be the one leaving, and it's not fun being the one left behind.

I could blame it on the military, and the military is an easy target for that. But the sad truth is, our family moved around every 3-4 years before my husband joined the military. He was a pastor, and in our case pastoring a church was a 3-4-year-long gig, depending on the church. There have been churches I hated leaving, ones I was sad to leave but happy to go to the next church, and one in particular that prompted some literal dust-shaking from my feet.

It's hard to say good-bye. Thankfully in the military, it's not so much "good-bye" as "see you later," because there's always the chance you'll see old friends again. In our life, some dear friends we knew in North Dakota will be moving to Fairbanks this summer, which means we get to say "hello" once more (Fairbanks is only a 7 1/2 hour drive from where we live; roughly the same as a drive from Kansas City to Minneapolis).

That's the end of my five minutes :)